Muchos recordamos las historias que contaban nuestros padres, y por ello queremos recoger algunas de las anécdotas que ellos relataban….

****

(Anécdota contada por ARTURO ESCORIGUEL BELDA “Kery”)

Estando en la escuela de Capacitación de pilotos de caza, ya superados los exámenes físicos estábamos más contentos que unas Pascuas, pero esperando empezar los cursos estábamos un poco aburridos. Un buen día como “veteranos” se nos ocurrió hacernos pasar ante los “novatos” como el Servicio de Recepción, y hacernos pasar a los recién llegados, una visita medica. Cuando llegó el primer alumno, nosotros con batas blancas, aparatos de auscultación, libros, bloques de nota….

Lorente, era el “Doctor”, yo el “Ayudante del Doctor”, De Anta y Gimeno los enfermeros…

Recuerdo perfectamente el primer alumno que recibimos. Fue presentado al “Doctor Lorente”, que lo hizo desnudar y auscultándolo hacia unas terribles muecas, exclamaciones y rogándome que tomara notas. Todos poníamos caras de preocupación que no pasaba desapercibidas “al paciente”.

  • (El Doctor) Le encuentro un “Beta amplificado al cuadrado”…
  • (Ayudante) De acuerdo mi Capitán, tiene todos los síntomas de un “residuo de aceleración”…
  • (Novato) Es grave?
  • (El Doctor) Veremos mas tarde. Siéntese en la cama y cante una jota u algo parecido…
  • (Novato) No sé cantar Doctor
  • Es igual, aunque cante mal, cante algo como pueda, pues tengo que controlar mientras canta los “ritmos Alfa metrocopos”…

El pobre “Novato” canturreó una vieja canción… No os imagináis al pobre muchacho! Recibimos unos 10 alumnos y según el caso “El Doctor” les hizo beber 1 litro de agua, hacer 200 genuflexiones, caída teórica de paracaídas desnudos…..

De pronto entraba “un sargento” diciendo: Doctor, se ha matado otro novato! Y el Doctor: Vaya! Ya llevamos 5 esta semana! Cuando veíamos que estaban preocupados la broma o el bautizo se terminaba y acabamos todos, “paciente, Doctor, Ayudante y enfermeros”, con zapatos y relojes en el lago que había en el patio de la escuela.

Una vez nos pregunto el verdadero Doctor, de donde sacábamos los términos que empleábamos en las “visitas medicas”:

– Sencillo, Doctor: en manuales de física y química del motor, o de nuestra creación!

****

Los alumnos le habían puesto mote a todos los traductores. El clásico era “LA TUBA”, así llamaban a Yasha Shvarts. Yasha conocía el español “regular”, por eso todos los sustantivos y adjetivos masculinos o femeninos en ruso debían ser, también masculinos y femeninos en español. Por ejemplo: stul (que significa silla y es masculino en ruso), así que para Yasha era “el sillo”. De ahí “trubá” (femenino) y benzin (masculino), lo traducía en español como “la tuba del gasolino”. Ademas en ruso, el adjetivo precede al sustantivo, por ejemplo: negra mesa, azul mar, etc. Kirianov (su mote era Don Quijote), el profesor de motores a quien Yasha traducía en la clase, explicaba qué ocurria cuando se obstruía el tubo de escape del motor. Yasha traducia palabra por palabra : “Y entonces de la tuba sale un negro….(larga pausa, hasta que recordaba como se traducia el sustantivo)….humo”.

La frase que recordaran los alumnos de todas las promociones es:

“DE LA TUBA SALE UN NEGRO…. ECHANDO HUMO”

****

A última hora nos enviaron a tres interpretes noveles. Los alumnos españoles se divertían de buen grado con esos jóvenes. En una clase de astronomía una enseño al grupo el PORTAMAPAS y preguntó: “Como se llama eso en español”. Un alumno respondió en el acto sin pestañear “EL CAPACHO”. Nadie se rió. Pero el grupo siguiente lanzó una tremenda carcajada cuando el pobre muchacho repitió muy satisfecho:

“EL MAPA, ASÍ DOBLADO, SE METE EN EL CAPACHO”

****

En el análisis que se hacía todos los días después de los vuelos, el instructor (un ucraniano bonachon y regordete) dice “Pregúntele a ese alumno quien le dijo que durante el aterrizaje se puede mirar a cualquier lado; Yo (Clara Rosen) con el calor que hacia y cansada después del aeródromo, traduje: “¿Quién le dijo a usted…. Etc.? ¡Nadie! Se enfadó el alumno. “¡Que nadia!, rugió el instructor, ¿Quién instruye aquí, yo o Nadia?” Y es que una muchachita que servía en el comedor se llamaba Nadia….

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